thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
4 words: hood of his car
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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