I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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