my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
