Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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