There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
