PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
