I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
