at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
