And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
