I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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