I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
