its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
