Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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