weddingsv make me drug and hornr
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
