Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
