no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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