Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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