fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
