He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I have aggressive nipples.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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