Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
