mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
