I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
