I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
