i think i have two assholes
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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