Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
