I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
