he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
