I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
