Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
