McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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