4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
