Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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