Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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