I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
