Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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