Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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