check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
