He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
