The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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