she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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