I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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