Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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