everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
