? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
