We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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