I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
