he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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