I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
