i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
