I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
