i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
