That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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