i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
