somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
