She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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