Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
