hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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