strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
