They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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