Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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