the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
