8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
