Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
