How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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